Longing and lust
How can there be beauty without passion? The burning flame eating everything that is false. This flame is not an emotion, it´s not romantic, it cannot be bought for money, its neither good nor bad.
But it can swallow all what we love and desire at a superficial level: the things in our everyday life that we try to believe are important.
Often we regard lust and desire as something forbidden, that we must control and repress: don’t buy so much, don’t eat more than you need, don’t overdo sexuality or be unfaithful. Same time we let ourselves drown in exactly these desires to hide to ourselves that we deep inside feel lonely, bored, without any God, no relation, no friends, no wife, no mistress, just an empty hole – which we are afraid to face.
So we throw ourselves into what can excite us on short-term, travel around the world, fill the calendar with cultural experiences, social activities, movies, food, sex and affairs, fall in love and leave each other again, because the other one was not able to fill the gap anyway.
We fight against our lust and longing by inventing arguments that give us permission to drown in desires, so we can surrender without a following guilt. Same time we control our longing, judge others, also our selves for going over the limit for what is acceptable in our cultures and ideas of what life is about.
We feel fine, we tell each other and repress the lonely emptiness that whispers, even screams, inside us that the satisfaction was not fulfilling. We agree that longing and lust are terrible and dangerous things that must be tied and controlled.
On one hand. On the other we bless the passion as something highly evolved. We agree that it is greatness to burn for a cause, especially when we burn for it is together. Except when it is burning and fighting for religions, beliefs, politics and cultures that seem a threat to our own life.
And we clap our hands when an artist has struggled, suffered and burned inside to create an amazing breakthrough splendour that touches our hearts. We agree that passionate love lasting eternal is a romantic dream of something we all wish to reach before dying.
But we hate the pain and hurtful longing for the beloved, if he or she dies leaving us behind or falls for somebody else. We can also get disappointed, when our illusion that love for and from somebody else will calm down emotions and make us live happily ever after, does not seem to ever be real. Everyday life always comes and the beloved turns out to be less wonderful than we thought.
Therefore many of us decide to live a life without longing, without lust, without passion – it costs too much, we can say. We repress any longing with the result of feeling sad, depressed or often frustrated, impatient – or life suddenly seems to be without meaning. We escape from the passion that is the flame of life power.
Or we hunt satisfaction needing more and more, like in sexuality we need to constant find a new partner or try more nasty or dangerous ways to not getting bored. Then we realise that wanting somebody new or something more only was because of greediness that we don’t like to be accused for – none of it was the satisfaction we searched for after all.
The empty loneliness haunts us from inside; all of us know this at least when we have to face death. If either somebody dear to us get very sick, or we ourselves do, or we have an age where it`s likely that we must leave life in a short while.
Then we can come to long for God or another spirit, force or meaning, that can hold our hands so we don´t die alone. Being alone is the worst, we strongly believe, many of us.
But if we don´t try to repress or escape from the fire of passion, don´t judge it or surrender to short-term satisfaction, then we can go through to the lonely emptiness inside the flame to discover that in burning away all desires, all materialistic inventions, all habits with no meaning, we are totally free.
We are now living as the flame of life fervent in everything we do, encounter and act – even the moment of death. Everything from this state is beautiful. Everything is love; warm and tender, fervent, magic, enchanted and pure beauty.
We desire nothing, need nothing – we live inside love. The desire to possess and depend on another or others has burned away.
We love unconditionally, because we are love itself.