When a baby don´t get what it needs of attention, because its mother is emotionally cold, the baby uses “instead-objects” as a dear teddy-bear, for instance before sleep or when feeling left distanced.

Because of the conflict between fantasy-world (love to dear teddy) and the outer reality (mama is not here for me) the baby invents an in-between-zone, where fantasy and reality rules at same time.

Teddy belongs to such zone.
Teddy represents both mother and child, makes separation and relation between them become visible. One day the child throws away Teddy. But the in-between-zone remains existing, in where ability to create and imagine evolves in its personality.

Resistance, loss and suffering can develop ability to creativity and lead to spiritual experiences. We are inclined to fall in love with one that mirrors our own inner wounds longing to be healed.
Hurt inner children get attracted to hurt inner children.
Unconscious we recognize alikeness: you seem as one like me. We see the fragility that we possess ourselves.

In such bond of sufferance we meet each other with understanding and compassion. Feeling not anymore alone in our sufferance is a great endorsement for a hurt inner child to receive. We can support each other to transform experiences of pain to create new constructive way.

In creativity we use intentionally “suffering” to force forward new ideas. We can make empty in-between-time by meditation or put impediments into the process to force brain to think in another direction. Or we can play being inside parallel worlds to approach the issues from this side.

In love-relations we can use such tools to work through and overcome problems to side-by-side strengthen the bond.
The pain is transformed to love.